Up here I’ve got so many skills I’m practically a Power Ranger. Back on Earth my only special skills are being above average in math and height.

When I stretch my arms in the air I levitate. Every time I lean forward I do a perfect somersault. The slightly worrying thing is that I am sort of enjoying this. If it’s not too much trouble.' Completely Doomed Digby-23 Glenarm Close, Bootle, Liverpool 22, England, The Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, et cetera. And, if you happen to have the technology, please post this phone to: If you are listening to this though, and you are not my mom and dad, you are probably a pointy-headed, ninety-legged, sucker-footed alien, in which case, can I just say, 'Hello, I come in peace. If I do get home, I’m going to give it to you and then you’ll understand how I ended up in deep space when I said I was going pond dipping in the Lake District. That’s why I’m recording this on my Draxphone. Plus I think if I stay awake I might have an idea.

I can’t get comfortable in sleeping bags because they’re always too small for me. When we got the maneuver just slightly wrong-just slightly enough to make us completely doomed-they all screamed for about an hour and then they dozed off. The others are all asleep.Ĭan you believe that, by the way? We’re in a rocket, spinning hopelessly out of control and into Forever, and what is their chosen course of action? They said that if it goes wrong they’re going to deny all knowledge of it. Unless you get this message you won’t know about any of this because this is a secret mission. I’ve brought this mobile phone with me-because it’s got pictures of home on it. It rolled out of orbit, wrecking all the communications equipment, and now I’m very lost in space. Would he know the way to the bathroom on his first day at school? When no one had told him? No, I don’t think he would.Īnyway, a few hours back the Infinite Possibility was supposed to complete a routine maneuver and basically it didn’t. Why, by the way? Why should a big lad know better just because he’s big? King Kong’s a big lad. If you were tall and you made a mistake-even if it was only your first day-you got, You should know better, big lad like you. If you were taller than someone, you must be older than them. Joan of Arc Primary the teachers seemed to think that height and age were the same thing. It’s not like I had to try very hard, is it? Everyone always thinks I’m older than I really am, just because I’m tall. To be fair, everyone lies about their age. I sort of gave the impression I was about thirty. I’m about two hundred thousand miles above the surface of the Earth. I’m on this rocket, the Infinite Possibility.

To be completely honest, I’m more sort of in space. To be completely honest, I’m not exactly in the Lake District. Mom, Dad-if you’re listening-you know I said I was going to the South Lakeland Outdoor Activity Center with the school?

Cosmic frank cottrell